Billy Pilgrim Morphs into Heroes in Rehab March 19, 1994

Below is the actual text of the letter sent to advise our adoring public ("Jay", the guy who booked bands at the bar in question) of the name change. This letter accompanied an envelope filled with posters sent to the Coach and Horses (Windsor, Ont.) in anticipation of the last Billy Pilgrim / first Heroes in Rehab show. We had it in our minds to do the first set as the old band, and the second set as the new one. Historical fact: First Heroes in Rehab gig - April 2, 1994 - Coach & Horses, Windsor, Ontario. Less than six months later, the Heroes would be in Reaction Studios recording "Ouais".

Dear Jay:

You may have already won six million dollars. Then again, you may not have. If you have not, you may be interested in reading on. Then again, you may not.

Please find enclosed one (1) (ein) (un) German-Engineered, Precision Manufactured, Nuclear Powered Billy Pilgrim Rock and Roll Entertainment Promotional Materials Kit. This kit is the first of its kind, a monument to the marvels of modern space age polymer materials and a fair piece of free time. Please note that the materials in this kit are of a highly sensitive, precision tuned nature; you must ensure that they do not fall into enemy hands, or all is lost. G-E.P.M.N.P.B.P.R.a.R.E.P.M.K. should be cared for and handled like a fine timepiece - be careful not to disturb the delicate on-board instruments that ensure accurate navigation and long-lasting power.

Our crack physicists, engineers, computer programmers and caretaking staff advise that the user operates the kit as follows:

(a) insert hand of your choice in envelope;
(b) remove all posters from envelope;
(c) attach strip of adhesive tape of your choice to individual poster;
(d) affix poster/tape assembly to stationary object (eg. wall/post); and
(e) return to step (c) and repeat as desired.

Feel free to telephone our 24-hour User Support Hotline, at 1-800-PIL-GRIM should you experience any difficulties whatsoever operating the kit. Of course, Billy Pilgrim cannot accept any responsibility, blame or liability of any kind for adverse side effects or any other bad stuff at all (and we really mean it) of any nature whatsoever resulting from the operation, storage or use of the Promotional Materials Kit, including (without limiting the generality of the foregoing) nausea, drowsiness, hair loss, vomiting, acne, spontaneous human combustion, dismemberment, bad breath, rickets, leprosy, poor fashion sense, fainting spells or lack of enthusiasm for televised golf, called it, stamped it, put it in the mailbox (no takebacks).

This Kit will be the last of its kind, sadly, for Billy Pilgrim is soon to go the way of the dinosaur. Recently, the band gathered for a week at its mountaintop retreat in the Himalayas and determined, after much meditation and some really boss pizza, that productivity in the corporate lead guitar division had been wholly unsatisfactory in the last two quarters of fiscal '94. Obviously, drastic action was needed, and Billy Pilgrim Inc. accepted with some considerable regret the resignation of Michael Williams (Vice-President in Charge of Lead Guitar Operations).

It is with great pleasure, however, that the band announces the appointment of Rui Cardoso to the V.P. (Lead Guitar Operations) post. Mr. Cardoso will also function as the band's power-play centre. Accordingly, all Billy Pilgrim rock and roll operations will cease to exist and will be amalgamated into a new, as yet un-named rock and roll enterprise, to be unveiled as of sometime during our third or fourth beer, during the second set, on April 2, 1994. We expect Her Majesty the Queen will be in attendance to launch the new band by whacking us with a bottle, so you may (or may not) wish to beef up security measures for the evening.

See you on April 2nd

Heroes in Rehab